Halfway Through Two Year Struggle to Pick New Fuhrer

I remember the good old days when I used to dread the whole year before a presidential election because we would have to hear every day for a whole year about the presidential election. But the 2008 presidential election started on November 7, 2006!

Anyone who watches cable tv as much as I do knows that it has been the Number One topic since then. Little issues like a failing economy, war and genocide against Arabs and Muslims, the escalating arms race among the US, Russia and China, the rising cost and falling availability of food worldwide, rising sea levels (whatever the cause), the absurd foisting of impossible loans upon unsuspecting consumers, the doubling of health care costs as thousands die from lack of it, the fact that marijuana is STILL illegal -- barely make a bleep.

WHO WILL BE FUHRER? WHO WILL BE FUHRER? Who will inherit the total power to run the lives of the American people, to arrest us as terrorists, torture us and send us away to camps for the rest of our lives without warrants or trial should we not kiss his or her butt?? Who will inherit the right to nuke any non-nuclear nation that doesn't kiss our butt? Who will take the FUHRER suit from George Bush Junior??

MIKE HUCKABEE? Not this time around. But Mike "I'll shove my confederate flag pole up your black ass" Huckabee is the perfect nazi. He promises both welfare for his supporters and warfare against the infidels. (Yes, he'll put my ass in his prison camps should he be elected in 2012.)

RUDY GIULIANI? Luckily, Mr. "I Divorced My Wife in a Press Conference while My Fiance looked on and laughed her ass off" has proved himself to be an idiot at political strategy, as well as a liar, a cheat and a good friend to crooks.

MITT ROMNEY? Mr. "I'm really a liberal and lying to all these dumb conservatives, vote for me" is the handsomest dude running. Reminds me of that charming liar Don Draper on that sexy tv series "MAD MEN."

JOHN MCCAIN? Mr. "Don't pay attention to that 'Saturday Night Live' skit about I'm a psychologically damaged war prisoner who can't wait to get my finger on the nuclear red button."

JOHN EDWARDS? Well, it would be fun to watch him arrest all those big corporate lawyers, but he'd probably destroy the economy.

HILLARY CLINTON? Yeah, eight more years of hearing about all the women Bill Clinton seduced, assaulted and raped. But Hillary can solve that problem by LOCKING UP the great right wing conspiracy... send them all to the work camps!

BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA? Well, maybe if he locks up all the neocons and Israel lobbyists after he has his revelation on January 21, 2009 that MOHAMMED WAS RIGHT!!

RON PAUL?? Let him explain...